The Break Up -- from a sender exclusivelyriz

Nothing could ever pain me enough waking up every single day and finding you’re not there. We’re through, that’s the brutal reality. I wish I could shut my eyes out and pretend it was just a nightmare to make the pain go away. But before my eyes, the truth atrociously devours my whole humanity saying over and over again that you’re gone. Getting used to this loneliness and emptiness would somehow let me live. But how long will I ever be in this road of continuous, never ending heartaches? I long for the pain be gone and start a new life.

How excruciating it is to know that all we had and we’re to have has come to an end. The love we had was almost perfect. It endured so many trials and adversities that are naturally involved in a relationship. But it seems like before I could blink, everything was lost before my very eyes. Everything disappeared leaving me only bitter memories and an aching heart. How can I contain this agony to any further extent? You have crossed to a different path leaving me here all alone. My eyes weary, my heart broken and my distant cries unheard. Trying hard to deny the facts, hoping you’d still come back. But what choice do I have but to submit to these lonely hands of destiny- that we are not meant to be. Ours was a situation no can or ever will understand. This love made me go on but can it endure more cuts and wounds? It has enough. It was tired of being played with and taken for granted. It has to depart as it would be more painful to stay.

Regrets I don’t have from the very beginning till the end. Acceptance was the best medication for a wounded heart. The decisions were made for the best. But when I look back, I see you. I see us. Our old times together. The laughter. The tears. They’re all that’s left. Memories. Should you call me weak? For then I will be absurdly mad at myself. Merely because I sense that’s true. I still love you even after all the pain you caused me. How I wish I could be numb. So I could go on living and never be hurt by anyone. How tiring it is to constantly feel pain. True that I haven’t moved on yet. But I should. But how can I, if when you’re not around I am labeled as strong but when you are, I suddenly become soft and weak?

Sure enough, I can’t meddle with your decisions anymore. I don’t have the slightest right. I am your former love and I am not even one of your friends from now on. Still my endless concerns for you shove me to you. I apologize. I purely fail to remember. I am nothing to you now. Everything about us is over.

 

“And even if you mean the whole damn world to me. I can forget you wait and see. I can be strong even without you. I can’t waste my life forever hoping you’d come back to me but deep inside I know I’ll be waiting here for you.” 

by exclusivelyriz